


Charcoal

by CarburetorCastiel



Series: Spectrum Love [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gift Fic, M/M, Marriage, One Shot, Parents, Post-Canon, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Puppy the Puppy, Ruckus the Dog, Slice of Life, Therapy Dog, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, beach wedding, day in the life, partial amnesia bucky, post cryo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-06-27 14:32:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15687324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarburetorCastiel/pseuds/CarburetorCastiel
Summary: Sometimes Bucky needs help to remember even the most precious days of his life. Steve is always helping even if he isn't there with him. All their photo albums and Steve's letters serve as a history book for Bucky's life.





	Charcoal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Raya91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raya91/gifts).



> This is dedicated to Raya who has been such a great support of my WIP long fic and has also been so, so patient with me as this gift fic took a while. Because, good heavens, this took me a while to actually get done because I'm the worst.
> 
> (Notice: The pictures are smaller to help the flow on mobile reading. Please click the links below to see the aesthetic board better.)
> 
> [Aesthetic Link](https://78.media.tumblr.com/8bd6ff24cabc705aba6435c4f334de68/tumblr_inline_pdknt0LoVi1rjbhtz_540.jpg)
> 
> [Color Code](https://78.media.tumblr.com/436d21b4030b94fc41688da8c9ea73e1/tumblr_inline_pdknsjiKy11rjbhtz_540.jpg)

\--- 

There weren’t many times nowadays that Bucky lost his new memories – those precious years between his last time being released from cryo up to now. Settling down with Steve in their own home, getting his service dog Ruckus, adopting and naming Sarah, the birth of their son, finally getting to marry Steve after a lifetime of waiting. Those were the most important ones. 

They were also the ones that hurt the most when the images got fuzzy. It didn’t happen often. But, when it did, he was so scared that they would blur until he couldn’t pick out a single thing. 

Steve was always ready and willing to help Bucky in these instances. Today, however, he wasn’t back home from the grocery store yet. So, Bucky found himself laying on their bed with a photo album and a letter written by Steve. 

 

 _We are married._  

 

The first line of the letter was simple – just a reminder to Bucky that, yes, they are husbands. Steve had written several letters like this and placed them in between pages of their photo albums as a way to help Bucky even when he wasn’t around to do it in person. The letter was carefully hand-written with little notes here and there that directed Bucky to particular photos to help jog his visual memory. 

 

 _Our wedding was on a beach in the islands. We wanted it to be secluded and private. - (See Photo D) - It was close to sunset so the sand wasn’t hot on our feet. We were going to wear some sort of sandals but you hated walking in them._  

 _It took us a long time to decide on colors for the wedding. Mostly because I didn’t think we needed ‘wedding colors’ and I just thought we could do whatever looked nice. But you fought me on it. I was pretty surprised how much you got invested in the decorations and themes. But I suppose it was a good distraction to keep your mind occupied. You were still having a lot of tests and check-ups done by_ _the_ _Wakandan_ _medical team to make sure everything was okay._  

 

Bucky remembered that part, at least – all the tests. He had so often felt like a big human lab rat for everybody. But not with the Wakandan team. They all treated him like a patient who needed care and attention. Even when he was getting himself worked up and anxious about every procedure or exam, they were calm and understanding and so good to him. He owed his current positive health to Shuri and the others. 

 

 _You picked some shades of pink and orange and white for our wedding colors. I don’t know exactly what they were called officially but Wanda kept saying ‘poppy’, ‘creamsicle’, and ‘blush’. - (Color Swatches 1, 2, 3) - By the time everything was_ _ready_ _, there were pink, orange, and white flowers and petals all over the sand and on an arch and bouquets and in the flower crowns that Sam and_ _Shuri_ _put on us after the pronouncements. Everywhere. - (See Photos B, C, & E)._ 

 

Sam and Shuri were Steve and Bucky’s best-men. Most all of their friends were in attendance and helped make the wedding possible in one way or the other. But they both decided they would choose only one person to stand up with them. Otherwise, it would have been two long lines of people and a bunch of empty wooden folding chairs. 

Bucky did remember asking Shuri. He explained that he felt close with most of Steve’s friends and the Avengers now, even if it took a long while to mend bridges with some. But no one was quite the buddy to him that Shuri was. She never tried to fight him or take him away under the guise of safety. She never doubted his presence or challenged the notion that he could become himself again and no longer be a controllable pawn just waiting to hear some trigger words.  

She just took him in, helped him back to his feet, joked with him, taught him about the world he had missed, and encouraged him every time he doubted himself. She also reminded him of his sister Rebecca who he never got to see again after leaving with the 107th. And Shuri was there for him when he found out his sister had died in the 80s of a heart attack at the comparably young age of sixty-four. Shuri was his friend and part of his new growing family. And he was honored to ask her to be his best-man. She made a tart pink power suit just for the occasion. 

 

 _T’Challa was our minister. He is the King, after all. Tony fought for the position. But I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you. He finally gave in once I promised that he could handle music for the reception. - (Photo F)_  

 _(Photo G) - We asked all our friends to wear our wedding colors also. There was a lot of white with bits of pink or orange. I wasn’t sure about_ _it_ _at first. But I loved standing up there with you and seeing everyone sitting like our own little flower garden._ _It_ _felt more personal._  

 _Everything for_ _our_ _wedding was absolutely beautiful. We waited so long for our day and, once we got there, we made sure to make it as lovely as we could. It never really mattered if we got married on a beach with tons of flowers or at the nearest courthouse or even in Avengers Tower. That wasn’t really what it was about. But, we both wanted to make a little bit of a big deal about it. Because for years we never had a prayer that same-sex relationships would be normalized, let alone_ _same-sex_ _marriage. So, maybe we didn’t need the fanciful theme and the layer cake and all of it. But we wanted our day. And we put our hearts into it._  

 

Bucky looked at each picture in turn as he read and really focused on conjuring up the full memories with what he was given. It was working. It usually did. He definitely wished Steve was home already, but reading through his notes was doing the trick. And he didn’t hardly have to read the last page to know they were all about him and how Steve saw him that day. 

 

 _(Photo A) -_ _And the best part was seeing you for the first time before the ceremony. We picked our suits together but didn’t wear them yet so it was the first time I was seeing you in it. I wanted us to stand apart from the flowers and the guests. And you asked what we would be if everyone else are flowers. I said we could be the ocean. I found a sort of soft blue suit. (Wanda says it was a blue-periwinkle). And you found a smooth grey suitcoat made of velvet._  

 _I was already waiting at the foot of the stairs for us to walk together to the beach._ _I_ _think I was messing with my tie for the thousandth time in an hour. I heard you on the stairs and I looked up into your eyes for a second. But then I had to look at the rest of you._ _The velvet jacket fit close but not too tight. The pants were a little_ _more snug_ _on your thighs than we_ _anticipated_ _but it was fine. You didn’t wear a tie but your undershirt was a lighter blue to go with my suit. And you had your hair up in a neat bun with a few little green leaf sprigs._  

 _You looked so nervous. And you were quiet when you asked if I thought you looked good. Baby, you always look good. You did then, you do now. I couldn’t stop thinking how adorable you were standing barefoot in the sand with a thin velvet_ _suit_ _._ _It_ _was_ _the sort of look that only you could have pulled together._  

 _We were a few minutes late walking to the beach because I just wanted to kiss you and hold you and make the day go on forever. And I still feel bad about ruining your hair. I was careless with putting my hand on the back of your neck and I pulled some out of the bun so you had to take it down. You said you didn’t mind and you weren’t mad. I hope you were telling the truth._  

 

Bucky set the letter down. There was more but he didn’t need it. He remembered again. He had most of it back now. He remembered pulling Steve’s tie gently to get him to stop kissing and to get a move on. He was tired of not being Steve’s husband and they were almost there. They could kiss all they wanted once T’Challa was done with them. 

Bucky closed the photo album with a gentle thump. He got off the bed and pulled his sweater tighter around him. He put the album back where it belonged on their little shelf and then opened their closet doors all the way. The wedding suits were kept in the back of the closet, hanging in garment bags to protect them. This wasn’t the first time he had looked at them and ran his hand over the velvet just to get a bit of sense-memory of their wedding day. 

He just wished he could replay his favorite days over and over whenever he wanted to. Just put himself back in it and have the experience all again. But he couldn’t, so this is what he did. He did the same thing with Sarah’s baby blankets by holding them and trying to remember the first day he held her just before the adoption went through. 

It was quiet in the house except for the rustle of Steve setting all the grocery bags out on the table and countertops. He was finally home again. Both of the kids were napping so Steve was careful to walk softly into the master bedroom. “Bucky? Babe, are you okay?” he whispered, coming to stand behind his husband and wrap his arms around him. The wedding suits were a dead give-away that Bucky had had some sort of episode or issue. 

“I’m all better now,” Bucky assured him and turned in Steve’s grip to be face to face with his husband. “Had a little bit of a day but I’m fine. I’m much, much happier now that you are back.” 

Steve hummed through a smile and then gave Bucky a warm, long kiss. “I’m happy that you’re happy. I love you so much.” Whatever had been amiss with Bucky before he got home must have worked itself out already.  

Bucky nuzzled in close to Steve’s chest and took a few deep, calming breaths. His husband was home again. “I love you, too, Steve.”  

\---


End file.
